Adventure Gamers - Forums

A rabbi and a priest were neighbours, and there was a certain amount of friendly competition between them. If the Feldmans had their drive done up, Father O’Malley had to have his relaid, and so it went on.

One day the priest had a new Mercedes Benz, so the rabbi bought a Ferrari. When the rabbi looked out of his window it was to see the priest pouring water over the top of the car bonnet. He opened the window and shouted ‘That’s not the way to fill the radiator, you know.’

The priest replied “I’m christening it with holy water, that’s more than you can do to yours.’

A little while later the priest was noticed the rabbi lying in the road, hacksaw in hand, sawing the last inch of his car’s exhaust pipe.

Kirby_Thicc - 19 June 2020 11:02 AM

my god the best thread ever

Thanks for bringing it to my attention! Many really good bad jokes in here.

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?

They don’t. They arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.

That’s possibly the saddest joke I’ve ever heard.

I should have gone with “shoot the room” instead of “beat the room”. 


I could give an even darker / more offensive one.
This one’s by British comedian Jimmy Carr:

“If only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids…”

I don’t find that one hitting as strongly. Don’t know why. (It’s a bit of a typical Carr joke though. I’ve been watching a lot of Eight out of ten cats does Countdown, so maybe I’m just used to it?)

When some doctors were asked to contribute to the construction of a new wing at the hospital…..

The allergists voted to scratch it.

The anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas.

The cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.

The dermatologists preferred no rash moves.

The gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it.

The internists thought it was a hard pill to swallow.

The microsurgeons were thinking along the same vein.

The neurologists thought the administration “had a lot of nerve”.

The obstetricians stated they were laboring under a misconception.

The ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.

The orthopedists issued a joint resolution.

The otologists were deaf to the idea.

The parasitologists said, “Well, if you encyst.”

The pathologists yelled, “Over my dead body!”.

The pediatricians said, “Grow up!”

The plastic surgeons said, “This puts a whole new face on the matter.”

The podiatrists thought it was a big step forward.

The proctologists said, “We are in arrears.”

The psychiatrists thought it was madness.

The radiologists could see right through it.

The surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.

The urologists felt the scheme wouldn’t hold water.

The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar.  It was tense.

Star Trek



How many ears does Mr. Spock have?

Three! His left ear, his right ear, and his final front ear!



If Mr. Spock has pointed ears, what does Mr. Scott have?

Engineers!



What do the USS Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?

They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons…

Did you hear about the bug that’s going around among the Native American population living on the Eastern Seaboard, which causes them to sporadically break out in uncontrollable bouts of pirate-talk?

It’s called the Atlantic Specific Indian Aaaaargh-tic.

@baron: badum tss!

Alright, this popped into my mind and I considered making it another nonsense thread (and flippantly defy anyone rolling their eyes at even more of this forum polution)..

..but I figured this would be more appropriate.

Music and Adventure Game puns and portmanteau jokes! I’m glad this thread is called the bad jokes thread.. I shall deliver.

New York Hiphop crew in a Scottish castle:
Wu-Tang Clandestiny

Schattenjäger with a sledgehammer:
Peter Gabriel Knight

Always bickering with the wizard Garfunkel:
Paul Simon the Sorcerer

Tripping out with the leader of an anachronistic marching band:
Sgt. Pepper’s Adventures in Time